who's counting anymore?

in my life I find that when i concentrate on not doing something i begin by counting.
sometimes the days.
sometimes the hours.
sometimes the minutes.
sometimes the seconds.

some days it is easier to get through by counting. but i find when i count i focus more on the activity i am trying to avoid than the reason why i decided not to do it in the first place. i feel like that is how i have been with this lent season.

giving up facebook for 40 days has been a giant challenge. mostly because that is my main source of communication with a LOT of people. i focused on stopping the behavior but not looking for a cure. almost like putting a band-aid on a wound and leaving it there for a while. if you leave the same band-aid on a wound, first of all lots of infections can happen. second your skin becomes a strange texture of wet skin, in a shade that even crayola cannot capture.

with physical injuries you must tend to your wounds. change the bandages, put on a little neosporin. maybe even pour a little of that burning stuff [you all know what i'm talking about] on it. we have to let the wound air out a little bit. but neglect is not an option.

when i stop counting, i know i am making progress. i am making progress in the healing of this not so physical, but more spiritual wound. i have been wounded, but i didn't want to take care of it. i didn't care and i allowed it to become infected and disgusting, even to me... and im the only one that could see.

so who knows what day it is anymore. or why i would even care.
i now have a closer-to-being-healed wound and the love of my Jesus to care for me.

what else could a girl ask for?