The reflection of the moon on the snow.
The reflection of the sunset on the water.
The reflection of the lights in my mirror.
The reflection of the mountains in my heart.
The reflection of the circus under my eyes, where dancing bears and elephants with funny hats have made their home without a ring master to reign them in.
Maybe I was looking without seeing, believing without feeling, seeing the goal but not really caring about the path. Maybe I have fallen into the trap. The "real world" trap that everyone tells you about, yet no one can explain. I was both lured and pushed. Lured by the paycheck, and pushed because of responsibilities and boredom. Thus becomes my life- working to live, living to work? I guess. Or I should say I guessed. Things will change now. There are bridges to be crossed.
Maybe I lost hope.
Maybe I lost reason.
Maybe I lost fear.
Whatever it was, I do not know and I cannot explain or understand.
I just know that suddenly I found myself in a hole. Looking out and I could see nothing but my own reflection.
It was time for a crash, I suppose. The high doesn't last forever. I know that.
But I had to remember words of wisdom that were once shared with me.
"Is the high worth the crashing?"
Yes. This particular high was worth the crashing. It was worth the reflection it gave me. It was worth the resurrection it gave me.
Resurrection for my soul.
Resurrection for my mind.
Resurrection for my purpose.
Resurrection for my goal.
Overcome by grace. and love. and peace.
Look into your reflection today and see if there is some resurrection that needs to happen.
with hope,
-A
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Recall and Resolve.
As I look back at the last year I can see how far I have come. I began a journey in 2010 and it was an amazing journey. I have grown so much in the last year that I would have to say that 2010 was one of my favorite years in my 22 years of life. Here are some of my highlights from the past twelve months.
January:
Vacation in Idaho and California spending a wonderful two weeks with some of my best friends. Praying with a woman on Hollywood Blvd. Starting my final semester of college. My soul in a desert place.
February:
One word to sum up my February is: Broken. I was broken when my amazing roommate moved. I was left broken by some friends. My heart broke every Wednesday at youth group. But it was also where my brokenness left me, some of my dear friends showed me hope and love by being there for me, letting me cry on their shoulders, and prayers.
March:
Got my cap and gown for graduation, spent an amazing relaxing spring break at home with my family.
April:
Easter with the fam. Exhaustion and ready for school to be done.
May:
Graduation!!!
A trip to Vermont, moving out of my first apartment.
June:
Left for my favorite place in the whole world, Romania.
Put my feet in the Black Sea. Met so many amazing people.
July:
Shared my testimony with two groups of Romanian teenage girls. Led some amazing camps for the orphans in the south of Romania, Went and experienced some Romanian history (twice) by visiting the castle in Sinia.
August:
Said goodbye to so many amazing friends. Dyed my hair an AWFUL shade of red because I couldn't read the label, then dyed it black to cover up that mistake. Left Romania :( . Started my 1/4 life crisis... What to do now that I no longer had to be in school.
September:
Moved to Pittsburgh. Moved back home from Pittsburgh. Couch surfed for like 2 weeks in Grand Rapids. Got offered the Youth Director position in Newaygo, and happily accepted
October:
Moved to Newaygo. Started doing ministry to the kids that I love so much. Was blessed beyond measure by my church family.
November:
Continued to be blessed by my church. Turned 22. Got a Job at Family Dollar. Went to the National Youth Workers Conference with a whole new perspective. Learned much about restoration.
December:
Got my first tattoo. Spent Christmas with my family. Learned more about heartbreak and love and God's faithfulness.
Resolutions:
1. More God, Less Me.
2. Blog More.
3. Love More.
4. Travel More.
5. Rest More.
6. Overcome More.
7. Read More.
8. Restore.
This year is beginning for me in a New place (Newaygo), in a new house, with new experiences that are going to be exciting.
Even though I am posting this a month and a half into the new year, I still wanted to post this. Just thinking of these things and being reminded of the blessings I had in 2010 is allowing me to enjoy the memories and look forward to the new ones I will create this year. I will blog more soon... I promise.
January:
Vacation in Idaho and California spending a wonderful two weeks with some of my best friends. Praying with a woman on Hollywood Blvd. Starting my final semester of college. My soul in a desert place.
February:
One word to sum up my February is: Broken. I was broken when my amazing roommate moved. I was left broken by some friends. My heart broke every Wednesday at youth group. But it was also where my brokenness left me, some of my dear friends showed me hope and love by being there for me, letting me cry on their shoulders, and prayers.
March:
Got my cap and gown for graduation, spent an amazing relaxing spring break at home with my family.
April:
Easter with the fam. Exhaustion and ready for school to be done.
May:
Graduation!!!
A trip to Vermont, moving out of my first apartment.
June:
Left for my favorite place in the whole world, Romania.
Put my feet in the Black Sea. Met so many amazing people.
July:
Shared my testimony with two groups of Romanian teenage girls. Led some amazing camps for the orphans in the south of Romania, Went and experienced some Romanian history (twice) by visiting the castle in Sinia.
August:
Said goodbye to so many amazing friends. Dyed my hair an AWFUL shade of red because I couldn't read the label, then dyed it black to cover up that mistake. Left Romania :( . Started my 1/4 life crisis... What to do now that I no longer had to be in school.
September:
Moved to Pittsburgh. Moved back home from Pittsburgh. Couch surfed for like 2 weeks in Grand Rapids. Got offered the Youth Director position in Newaygo, and happily accepted
October:
Moved to Newaygo. Started doing ministry to the kids that I love so much. Was blessed beyond measure by my church family.
November:
Continued to be blessed by my church. Turned 22. Got a Job at Family Dollar. Went to the National Youth Workers Conference with a whole new perspective. Learned much about restoration.
December:
Got my first tattoo. Spent Christmas with my family. Learned more about heartbreak and love and God's faithfulness.
Resolutions:
1. More God, Less Me.
2. Blog More.
3. Love More.
4. Travel More.
5. Rest More.
6. Overcome More.
7. Read More.
8. Restore.
This year is beginning for me in a New place (Newaygo), in a new house, with new experiences that are going to be exciting.
Even though I am posting this a month and a half into the new year, I still wanted to post this. Just thinking of these things and being reminded of the blessings I had in 2010 is allowing me to enjoy the memories and look forward to the new ones I will create this year. I will blog more soon... I promise.
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