Do I really know what I am passionate about?
Lately it seems like everyone else knows, but I have no clue.
One person tells me to do one thing, another tells me to do another.
And my mind says yet another thing.
I know the things that I have been passionate about... only because I have told myself for so long that these are my passions. What if it changed without me realizing it?
What if i don't know who I am anymore.
What if I don't remember why I am even passionate in the first place.
The one thing I keep forgetting is to talk to God about this. I mean I do it, but I don't really listen. I say it, without really praying it. I talk at God, not to God. I brush it off, I don't wait. Lately I have been telling God what to do. There I go again, thinking that my plans are greater; my plans are better. why is that?
It's.
all.
about.
CONTROL.
I have this desire, this need for control. But when I take that control, my life becomes utter CHAOS! If any of you have talked to me lately I am changing my mind like crazy, I want one thing one day and another the next day. I desire to do something, but don't have the guts to do it.
I am passionate about my control.
I am comfortable in my chaos.
But,
I.
NEED.
to.
give.
it.
up.
I need to rest in this thought tonight.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."-- Jeremiah 29:11
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This was beautifully honest. If I had a printer, I'd print it out and tape it to my wall. :)
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