im so over it.

my eyes are tired from crying for over an hour.
my heart hurts from it being cherished, then ripped out, then stomped on, put back.
again...
...and again..
........and again....
for the last three years of my life.
from. you.

but you know what...
i'm done.
i'm over the back and forth
UP and down of us.

the maybe we are, maybe we aren't...
the secrets, the whispers, the texts and the kisses.

i can't do this anymore.

this is me guarding my heart for once in my life.
my relationship with Jesus suffered because i thought i still loved you. and i was willing to put you before Jesus, telling myself that we could grow together when
really we just choked each other out. our seeds could not take root because we were on the rocky soil, we choked each other out like weeds.

but i am in love with the idea of being in love some day. but today is not that day.
tomorrow probably isn't either.

until that day comes, my heart rests in the hands of the only one who can keep it safe.
and protected.
and unbroken.
and whole.
and loved properly.

i WILL fall in love someday.
it will be a beautiful thing.

but today is not that day. yesterday wasn't either. who knows what tomorrow will bring besides healing for this brokenness.
that song cannot be played again.
the memories will cease. i will blanket them in the love of my savior.

im so thankful for friends who love me enough to remind me im worth more than what you have done to my heart.

im over it.
im over you.
tomorrow is a new day.