Day Five: You want me to do WhAt?

In my life I have never been a person to be at rest for very long.

Why would I want to sit still, in one place for a long time when there is a world to be seen, people to be reached, and things to be done?

I am bad a being restful. Like literally, I am terrible at it. There is a difference between being lazy and being restful. One can be lazy without being restful and one can be restful without being lazy. They are easily mistaken for one another, but two completely different things. And if you aren’t careful what can start out as being restful, can very easily turn into laziness.

This is where I find myself today. I find myself feeling very uneasy because I have become settled. I have lived in Newaygo for 5 ½ months for what is an undetermined amount of time. THAT FREAKS ME OUT!!!! When I lived at home during high school, I knew that when I graduated I would leave. I knew that I was going to be attending college somewhere, but college also had a time limit on it. I needed to finish in four years, and I did. But I knew that I wouldn’t be there forever. So being somewhere for an undetermined amount of time scares me so much. Plus it makes me feel lazy. Since I was a baby I have always been on the go. We were always going somewhere, with something to do, people to see. I was taught from the beginning to be very flexible and to go with the flow (I am so THANKFUL for that). But even though flexible and going with the flow is how I run, when the flow seems like it has stopped I don’t like it. When I am not on the go I feel lazy, not restful. When I am on the go, I can appreciate the rest more. I don’t mind a little lazy time here and there, but it is like that old saying “too much of a good thing is a bad thing.” I have so much time here that I am not sure what to do with it all and I am starting to feel like I might be missing out on something. I am 22 years old with a passion for travel and experiences and life… It is so hard for me to be in one place for such a long time. Even when I was in college I traveled a lot. There was always some weekends at home to look forward to, Spring Break, going somewhere over Christmas break, summer break that held endless opportunities. Now that I have graduated it feels like I am being forced to shut down that part of my heart and who I am, just because I am not in college anymore. But who says that I should stop being who I am, just because I am no longer part of a demographic who is expected to do those things. Why should I be expected to stay in one place forever, just because I am now part of the “work force” or “real life?” Why can’t my “real life” be doing the things I am passionate about and love to do?

When I am constantly traveling and busy and doing things, I can appreciate the time I get to rest. But when I sit at home day after day it is hard to appreciate it. Then my rest turns into laziness. I know that God will use this. It is just hard during this process. I am definitely learning patience, in a way that I have never been challenged to learn patience before. I am learning patience and waiting on God until he says it is time to move on. I have confidence that he will tell me when it is okay to go. He placed this passion in me and this free spirit. I know he will use it. Traveling is such a passion of mine. I don’t mind driving, I don’t mind flying, and I don’t mind riding a train. I can’t wait to see how God is going to use it. But until he does, it is my prayer that I will be restful and not lazy with my whole life and use this time to prepare for whatever upcoming adventure he has planned for me!


Just for fun I have done a little number crunching.

Here are some stats:
I have been to 4 countries
I have been to 20 states.
I have ridden a train 3 times.
I have flown across the Atlantic Ocean 6 times.
Last year alone I flew on 12 flights.
In the past five years I have averaged driving 11,600 miles a year on my car (my trusty baby).
That is approximately 967 full tanks of gas… a year.

Most of that has happened in the last 4 years. I wouldn’t trade a minute of it (okay maybe a few minutes of waiting in long lines to go through security checkpoints at the airport.. nah just kidding).